Apr 13, 2012

L is for...


“Okay,” Erin said, coming back into the room. “Finlay should be down for at least an hour. Let's get the dice and get rolling!”

Sean snickered from the kitchen, pulling the Guinness cupcakes from the oven, setting them on the cooling rack and taking his seat behind the dungeon master screen. “All right, so when last we left off...”

“Don't remind me,” I grumbled, glancing over my notes. Honestly, it wasn't my fault. I had been in character, darn it.

“I think you could still use some work on the whole lying thing, Glitch,” Pip said, sounding exasperated as she tested the ropes.

“My apologies, mistress Pip.” I glanced at my arms and legs morosely. They really were very nice arms and legs... a pity about how they weren't attached to my body anymore. “I have cataloged this event and will use it as a point of reference before attempting any further prevarication.”

“I'd personally just really like to see this lesson hit home,” Gorma panted from where she was shackled to the wall. “So, Glitch, in the future, when a tribe of goblins asks if we taste good, what are you not going to say?”

“I shall make every attempt to not inform them that we are delicious,” I assured her. “In retrospect, I should probably have come up with a more innocuous lie.”

“Finally,” Isaru exclaimed, his ear pressed to the door. “I think the guards have fallen asleep, now if I can just...” Abruptly his body shifted into a mist of acid, reforming a moment later, free. “Now if I can only find my sword, maybe I can do something about the rest of you.” He glanced around, searching the room.

“Honestly,” Poppi sighed, shifting into her tiger form and snapping the ropes easily. In a matter of minutes, we were back on our feet, reassembled, and ready to go.

“I'm a swordmage,” Isaru complained doggedly. “Emphasis on the sword.”

“I was personally very impressed with your efforts, master Isaru.”

“Shut up, Glitch,” the Genasi said, shaking his head.

“At least we've had a full night's rest now,” Pip pointed out, adjusting the readings on her protection cube. “If that group of goblins hadn't caught us right after that basilisk den, oh, they would have had another thing coming, let me tell you.” Poppi growled her agreement.

“Undaga, bereszit!” the goblin shaman's voice boomed from outside.

“He claims that it is time to feast,” I informed my comrades as my on-board translators communicated the words to me.

“Great,” the half-Orc grinned, loosening her sword in its sheath. “I've been looking forward to round two.”

“Gorma, wait,” Isaru jumped in front of her, hands outstretched. “They were only protecting their land. We could do irreparable damage to their society as a whole if we just arbitrarily wipe out one of their-”

“I believe I have a solution to this problem,” I stated proudly.

“Glitch, this is no time for lies,” the Druid said, shifting back into her humanoid form and preparing a spell.

“I mean this in all honesty, lady Poppi. I got us into this mess, and from the data I have gathered, I should therefore be the one to get us out.” I activated the mountain thunder in my power core, smiling as I stepped through the door and out into the early night. “Undari gowunga nezresit!” I proudly proclaimed. “Ywahana, Heavenly Hedgehog, blastreth!” My voice rumbled with a roll of thunder.

As one, the goblins fell to their knees, prostrating themselves before us. Well, except for the shaman.  He just looked mad.

“Glitch,” Pip said cautiously as she prepared the protection cube. “What did you tell them?”

“I simply informed them that we were emissaries of a god,” I replied smugly. “And informed them of the Heavenly Hedgehog's promise of the warm and fuzzy belly.”

“Bwanga neladu!” the goblin shaman screamed, arching his back and reaching for the heavens. Lightning flashed down as I dashed forward, raising my mace high. The forked bolt connected with my weapon, sending electricity coursing through my body. Fortunately, I ran on the stuff. I brought the weapon down with brutal, final efficiency.

“Also,” I calmly informed my friends, wiping my mace clean. “I have told them of the pointy quills.”

“Wow, Glitch,” Gorma said, sounding genuinely impressed. “You may be getting the hang of this lying thing after all.”

“Thank you, lady Gorma,” I said solemnly. “Your praise is not appreciated in any way.”

“Oh yes,” Poppi rolled her eyes, dismissing her spell as the goblins cleared a path for us. “He's definitely getting better at that.”

All artwork is (c) Michelle Corbelli.  Do not copy or reproduce.

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