Apr 30, 2012

Z is for...

 "Free at last," the nameless god's voice whispered through the endless void around me, barely heard and deafening all at once. "Free to end the chaos of the world, to bring true order in death and unlife, free to-"
"Excuse me," I interrupted, ignoring the warnings my system was displaying. It was still calculating my odds of survival despite having already reached the conclusion that I no longer existed with ninety-nine point nine nine percent accuracy. I would have to ask Pip to look that over once I got back. "I believe there may have been a misunderstanding."

A dark chuckle emanated from the space around me, the glowing eye shifting to focus all of its weight on my person. "Oh? And what might that be, little metal man?"

"Well, you see..."

Sean's head snapped up. "No," he whispered in disbelief. "No, that can't happen."

I smiled, slowly looking up from my twenty sided die, meeting his eyes as the rest of the group looked on in hushed awe. "Oh," I said, the beginnings of a maniacal laugh flirting with the edge of my voice. "Oh, it's on now."

"There are no more living things in this world," I met the dark god's gaze evenly, never flinching back. "All sentient beings are now of mechanical construction."


"That... what?" the nameless god's single eye shifted around nervously. He was clearly buying it. But who could blame him? After all, I was destined to be the world's greatest liar.

"I cast entangling roots on the wizard!" Erin cried out. "Get out of that!" Poppi growled triumphantly as she stopped the wizard cold, preventing him from re-entering the portal.

"Stasis field!" Pip yelled, struggling against the Yuan-ti abomination's coils and throwing a gadget toward the other one. It froze in place just as Isaru cut her free, sending the last monster flailing back in pain and distress. 

And right into Gorma's tulwar. "Take that, you stupid snake!" she cried, blade whistling as it sliced straight through the creature's neck, sending the cobra head flying.


"I'm afraid that there are no longer any living creatures in Eberron to die and be reanimated," I intoned solemnly.

The eye narrowed in suspicion. "Then why have you brought me here, construct?"

"Yes!" Tony cheered, clapping me on the back. "Go Sky! Bluff him straight back to hell!"

"I am afraid that was the misunderstanding." I nodded my head. "You see, we were attempting to bring a creator god into the realm, as one of our hard coded tasks was the protection of life, and without life to protect we could not operate at optimum capacity."

"No," the nameless god hissed, its eye looming closer, filling my vision. "No, there are rituals which must be completed, steps which must be taken, you could not have accidentally summoned me to your realm."


"Temporus nullus!" the wizard cried out, flinging his hand forward, a bolt of amber energy darting toward Isaru. The Genosi de-materialized into a poisonous mist, evading the attack and closing with the evil caster. The man began coughing and hacking, reducing the roots to dust with a touch as he tried to fight free of the mist.

Poppi pounced, the wind whipping about her as she shifted into her tiger form, striking a crippling blow and darting away as the wizard fell, clutching his throat.

"Isaru, now!" Pip hurled a glowing cube at the wizard, and the green mist shifted away just as the man sent out a burst of electricity. The cube caught it, held it, then flashed into a cage of lightning around the downed wizard, holding him in place mere steps from the portal. 

He yelped in surprise as Gorma stepped through the bars, tulwar gleaming in the erratic light. "Ready for the quills?" she smiled, fangs casting terrible shadows over her features as she closed on the stammering wizard.


"Come on!" Sean sat back hard. "Three natural twenties in a row? I swear you're cheating."

"You may be right," I informed the nameless god. "There was a purpose for our summoning you here, to the edge of your realm."

"And what is that?"

"I give up," Sean threw his hands up in surrender. "Four natural twenties in a row with two different sets of dice. You win."

I smiled triumphantly. "Another of our directives is the discovery and preservation of knowledge. When we stumbled upon your summoning ritual, we found that your name had been lost, and therefore resolved to bring you here so that we might record it."

The eye stared at me for a long time. "Zghardtarth." The eye vanished, replaced with nothing but empty blackness.

I watched for nearly a minute, then gave a decisive nod. I really had come a long way in prevarication. Why, only a few days ago, I would have thought it impossible to tell several lies to the face of a god. It just went to show, with practice and hard work, overcoming any obstacle was-

"My lord!" the wizard cried out, barreling into the room. His eyes were red and watering, several burn marks seared into his cloak. One arm hung loosely at his side and his leg was bleeding freely. Despite it all, the man had a mad gleam in his eyes. "My lord, I have... I have..." He looked around in dismay.

"I'm afraid that Zghardtarth has decided to look for a different plane of existence." The man looked at me incredulously. Darn it, he obviously knew I was lying. I grabbed him by the collar and dragged his unresisting form back through the portal. It seemed as though I still had a ways to go before I could claim to be the world's greatest liar.

All artwork is (c) Michelle Corbelli.  Do not copy or reproduce.

1 comment:

  1. Is this your last part of your Dungeons and Dragons story? Id like to read more.